two types of shame

Healthy nourishing shame and toxic shame.Healthy shame is an emotion that signals our limit.It is an energy in motion to meet our basic needs.One of this basic need is the structure that give us form and boundary for our own safety and for proper use of our energy.It keep us grounded and signal us that we can have mistakes and that we need help.It gives us permission to be human.Toxic shame is an excruciating experience of unexpected exposure of the believed failure of self to the self.It is a deep cut from the inside.We disown ourselves.It is a feeling of being isolated and alone in a complete sense.One experience oneself as untrustworthy.One has inner torment, a sickness of the soul.It is internal bleeding.There is shame about shame.People will admit guilt ,hurt or fear before they admit shame.

TOXIC SHAME

ORIGINS/DESCRIPTION: abortive development such as shame based model, abandonment trauma, shame images interconnected

RESPONSIBILITY AND POWER:NO responsibility, no power, incapacity

FELT SENSE:I'm a mistake.It's hopeless.I'm no good.I'm worthless

FAULT:fault of being defective as a person

MORALITY GOODNESS: I'm bad, no good, inadequate

BOUNDARY: no boundary,nothing about me is okey

SPORTS ANALOGY:violation of the game, failure to attain goal, life never reaching end zone

HEALTHY SHAME

ORIGINS/DESCRIPTION:develops early, 15months-3 years

POWER/RESPONSIBILITY:limited power and responsibility comes by knowing limits

FELT SENSE:I can and will make mistake that can be remedied

FAULT:limits of being,fault of natural finitude

MORALITY AND GOOD NESS:i'm good but limited-permission to be human

BOUNDARY:core boundary

SPORTS ANALOGY:violation of the rules : simple infraction, too much time